Monday, November 9, 2015

A short note to my younger self

I need to tell you about something. Something no one warns you about. The health books are quiet about it.

At a certain point in your life you are going to start growing hair in unexpected places. I'm not talking about the crotch and pit hairs that come in when your body hits puberty. I'm talking about OTHER HAIRS.

It usually starts in the eyebrow area. You'll get one eyebrow hair that has this explosive growth spurt. As years go by, you'll get another. Then another. Until finally, unless you are grooming them you will be all eyebrow.

Then there will be the nose hairs. One day you are shaving and you notice a little spider leg peeking out. The next thing you know you have a forest attached to your mustache.

Then... the ear hairs. No one understands them. They just start to appear. You only notice them when your hair stylist comments on them as she buzzes them out of your ear canal.

I don't think science has explained this explosive hair growth, but it should.

I just wanted to warn you, younger me, that old man hair will be a thing. Enjoy the rest of your life.