Monday, November 9, 2015

A short note to my younger self

I need to tell you about something. Something no one warns you about. The health books are quiet about it.

At a certain point in your life you are going to start growing hair in unexpected places. I'm not talking about the crotch and pit hairs that come in when your body hits puberty. I'm talking about OTHER HAIRS.

It usually starts in the eyebrow area. You'll get one eyebrow hair that has this explosive growth spurt. As years go by, you'll get another. Then another. Until finally, unless you are grooming them you will be all eyebrow.

Then there will be the nose hairs. One day you are shaving and you notice a little spider leg peeking out. The next thing you know you have a forest attached to your mustache.

Then... the ear hairs. No one understands them. They just start to appear. You only notice them when your hair stylist comments on them as she buzzes them out of your ear canal.

I don't think science has explained this explosive hair growth, but it should.

I just wanted to warn you, younger me, that old man hair will be a thing. Enjoy the rest of your life.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

I've been working on a photo project.




I've been working on a project.

I like to take pictures. I like being a tourist. I like to photograph things from odd angles.

I had a heart attack.

One of the things that you have to do when you have had a heart attack is get more exercise. Since I don't like to run, can't swim, hate gyms, that pretty much leaves walking as my most viable alternative to getting my heart rate up so my cardiologist will leave me alone.

So. I decided to start a photo project. I call it Tourist at Home.

The idea is pretty simple. Pick a street, find a place to park, walk about 2 miles and take pictures as I go.

When I get home, I download the pictures and post them on my Tumblr Photoblog http://mggardnerphotos.tumblr.com/

Here is a preview of some of the things I have posted. If you want to see more, please visit my Tumblr.




Tuesday, November 3, 2015

My life is a lie



Today I was doing a check of Face Page. It's not something I do very regularly. I am not a fan of face page. But that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is my whole life is a lie. As I was scrolling down what face page calls a news feed, it told me that one of my friends had commented on a post somewhere about goulash. The accompanying picture to the post was what looked to me like chili mac. That delicious comfort food combination of chili and macaroni. My stomach grumbles now thinking about it. 

I got ready to write a whole long article on here about how crazy people on face page are. Don't they know chili mac when they see it. I googled the wiki article on goulash to verify my info before I started to rant when I noticed a link next to the disambiguation pages. American Goulash it said.

With a cold chill in my heart I clicked that link. The article redirected, my world shattered. Everything I knew was a lie. There is no Dana Chili Mac only Zuul American Goulash. The wiki article describes American Goulash as "an American comfort food similar to American chop suey."

I'm not entirely sure how chop suey figures into this. I am scared to click that link now. My world has been shattered enough for one day.