Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Holiday Anxiety

It's that time of year again. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. For me, that means that my family is going to start trying to invite me to functions. Thanksgiving Day and Christmas eve were always pretty huge in my family. These holidays are the few times a year that we would all get together without someone being dead or married.

I am only “officially out to my older sister and my younger brother. When my husband and I got married, I let them know what was going on. Not only was I embarking on a whole new and wonderful chapter of my life, I was about to head out on a 1700 mile round trip. I know that accidents can happen when you are driving and I wanted my family to be aware that I was about to undertake this awesome adventure. I wrote about that last year here .

Now it's holiday time again. Now the phone calls and texts are going to start again. I honestly still haven't processed through the anger I feel toward my family. I am afraid that they will try to force the issue. I am afraid that they will try to break my self-imposed exile from them. I am afraid that they are going to force me to burn a bridge that I would much rather see stay damaged, but intact.

So, now I am dealing with anxiety. I run through scenarios in my head where a member of the family knocks on my door. None of the scenarios end well. I don't know if I will ever be able to talk to anyone in my family any time soon. I don't know if I will be able to welcome them into my home without feeling anger and resentment and a little shame.

You want to know what happens when a parent doesn't support a gay child? I can tell you, because I know first hand. That child begins to feel outcast. That child feels worthless. That child feels like his feelings, his true feelings, don't matter. That child begins to feel ashamed of himself.

Years of feeling outcast and ostracized can take a toll on a person. Right now I want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and not come out until New Year's. But I am not going to do that. I am going to continue to live my life in the best way that I know how. I am going to continue to love the man that I married. We are going to forge a life together. If my family wants to be a part of my life, they will have to do so on my terms now. I  no longer have a roommate, I have a husband. Together, my husband and I will continue to fulfill our foray.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

It's past time that we humans stop being afraid

It's past time that we humans stop being afraid of each other because we are different. It's time that we start examining why we are afraid of each other. We, as a species, have been behaving the same way to people who are different than us for the entirety of our recorded history.
It is time to make a change. It is time to stop the violence. It is time that we look at our fellow humans and be able to say that we are afraid. We have to face our fears or we will never, ever be able to move past them.
It is time for us to look at our fellow humans and rejoice and be thankful in our differences.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

My husband wanted Buffalo wings.

*Edit- A lawyer friend told me that to just be on the safe side, I need to say that you should cook your chicken throughly because if you don't you can get sick and die. *

Buffalo wings are a  food that I really do not like to eat. Unfortunately for me, my husband would eat them for every meal. As a result I've had to learn how to cook them and according to the husband I do a pretty good job.

I started with about 3 lbs of drummettes. It's a little more expensive to just get the drummettes but in our opinion those are the best part of the chicken wing, so why spend money on something you don't like.

I let the drummettes come to room temp, then threw them in a bowl with some salt and pepper and mixed it all up. In the dutch oven, I put about an inch of vegetable oil and let it come to temp. I used a piece of bread to check my oil temperature.  You just drop a 1 inch cube of bread into your oil and if it gets toasty in less than a minute, you oil is ready.

I dropped the drummettes in 6 at a time so I didn't overcrowd the pan. Put too many wings in and you risk lowering the oil temp too much and that makes for not tasty wing. I let them fry for about 5 minutes then turned them over so they could cook through and brown the other side.

Then I put them on a plate with a paper towel to drain while I loaded up the oil with the next batch.

When the next batch was frying I tossed the wings in the hot sauce that I had warming on another burner. You want your hot sauce hot. I don't know why but it just coats the chicken better if its warm.

Once the wings were coated in sauce, my husband got them and devoured them.

Here's the recipes:

Sweet Buffalo Sauce:

1/4 cup hot sauce
3 TBS honey
3 TBS butter
1 TBS apple cider vinegar

Combine in a small pot and bring to a simmer then reduce heat to low.

Chicken wings:
3 lbs (about 20) drummettes
Salt and Pepper to taste
enough vegetable oil to cover the bottom of a dutch oven to a depth of about an inch

Heat oil in dutch oven. Add seasoned chicken wings to oil in batches. Cook 5 minutes on one side then turn them over and cook an additional 5 minutes or until done.