This past Tuesday night 1/14/2014, I got a text from my younger brother. He was letting me know that one of my cousins had been found dead. At the time, the best guess was heart attack, and given my family's track record with that I would guess that would be right. "Daddy will be getting the details together." the text went on to say.
That was Tuesday. Today is Friday, 1/17/2014. I haven't heard anything from my family about arrangements. Up in the country where I am from, they don't wait around long to put a body in the ground. I should have heard something by now.
You see, while I am not "officially" out to most of my family, its rather obvious that I am gay since I am 43 and have never been married. This past summer, I told the two members of my family who know I am gay that I was getting married on 6/29/2013. My younger brother never replied and all my older sister said was "ok". Given the cool response I was getting from my "supportive" family members, I decided it was past time to continue contact with a relationship that was only going to get more acrimonious over time. Other than answering a direct question when necessary, I have cut off all contact with my family. When they call, they go to voicemail. When they text, unless they are asking a direct question, I don't answer. When they want to know if I will be home so they can visit (This is a new situation. In the 9 years I have lived with my boyfriend/fiance/husband, my parents have never tried to visit) I will not be home. My last contact with my family, my stepmother called and left a voicemail to let me know that they were coming to the city for a doctor's appointment and she wanted to know if I would be home so they could drop off my Christmas presents. Yes, when I cut off contact, I didn't go visit for Christmas either. Honestly, not making that hour drive to visit was a relief.
Now, it seems as if they have moved from the confused stage to the angry stage. My cousin died Tuesday and they still haven't called to give me arrangements.